What's a Kappa?

In Shinto mythology, suijin (水神) are deities that live in lakes, ponds, rivers, springs, irrigation canals, and even wells. One of these is the kappa (河童), a tortoise-like imp the size of a child that smells like fish, has the face of an ape, sometimes a duck beak, webbed hands and feet, and a shell on its back. Their slimy, scaly limbs can be yellow, green, gray, or blue, and some people even report that they can change colors like a chameleon.
The most distinctive feature of the kappa is their long hair, much like Portuguese monks in the 1600's, that circles the bowl-shaped depression on the top of their heads. The bowl is said to harden with age and it holds essential, strength-giving water which may let them move about on land. If a kappa loses this water, it can be immobilized, weakened, forced to return to its kingdom, or even die.

Although kappa are only the size of a six to ten year old child, they are very strong. Kappa pull people, cattle, and horses into the water, where they sometimes drown their victims or pull their livers or entrails out through the anus. Kappa feed by sucking out the blood or life force of their victims. The only food they enjoy more than this is cucumbers.

Kappa are mostly evil, but can sometimes be benevolent, too. They are skilled pranksters and their gags can range from innocent (passing gas loudly) to troublesome (kidnapping) to severe (raping women). Despite this, kappa are always trustworthy and very polite, and they are expert teachers in the art of medicine and bone setting, which is why there are shrines dedicated to them. They also understand and speak Japanese, as well as their own kappa language.

Danger: Kappa Crossing!

It's a well known fact that kappa love to eat children and sometimes even pull them into the water and drown them for fun. To protect our children we can follow three simple steps.

1. If you meet a kappa, bow! Kappa are extremely polite and etiquette dictates that if bowed to they must reciprocate, and all the strength-giving water in the bowls on their head will pour out. They'll be too weak to be naughty and will have to go home! To avoid being eaten, children should learn to bow properly, and to be safe they should bow to everyone!
2. The only thing kappa love to eat more than children is cucumbers. Write your name and your children's on a cucumber and toss it into kappa-infested waters to mollify them.
3. Kappa hate loud noise and fire, so scare them away with fireworks! Have a firework festival every year and the kappa will be too afraid to come back.

Of course, if you're clever enough to trick a kappa into a promise (such as not eating you) their sense of decorum demands that they keep that promise, and you won't need to follow the three steps. Otherwise, have fun with fire, eat your cucumbers, and practice that bowing!

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